That which causes irritation and anger among a couple, if not expressed and owned, creates resentment.
A man engages in company functions with shareholders and directors where he networks and talks on business topics.
The wife however, feels a burden at attending such gatherings. She feels inferior on business topics and struggles to engage in conversation. Her interests lie with her church community.
When he goes to church events he feels frustrated as he would rather be spending time on business.
A snide remark about “church people” hits a nerve with the woman who retorts: “I feel the same about your business associates!”
A joking observation snowballs into a resentful argument. How would clear, concise communication prevent this?
Own the feeling - fear, frustration, irritation, anger.
Identify the need - “I have a need for support and recognition,” for example.
Satisfying the need through a clear request like; “I request your support at company events.”
Cluttered communication without meaning quickly turns into resentment putting unnecessary strain on a relationship.
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