6 Traits of the Victim Mindset

In order to bring about meaningful change, we first need to create the awareness for change to take place. How do we do this?

I believe if we can bring awareness and consciousness to the multiple ways that we play out the role of the victim, then we can begin to usher in meaningful change.

Here are some of the characteristics of the victim mindset. See if you recognise any of them being played out in your behavior or in the behavior of those around you.

1. Driven by fear: much of the victim mindset is driven by fear. Fear of what? Fear of the unknown, and fear of the undeniable fact that we think there’s something wrong from which we need to escape. This fear creates the majority of our suffering.

2. Defined by ego: The victim mindset is created out of the separate self-sense or the ego. It’s the “I”, “Me”, “Mine”, “Myself” that is the story board on which the victim mindset can play out its narrative of “You don’t understand me.”

3. Physical & Psychological contraction: at the heart of the victim mindset lies this uncomfortable feeling which we try to push-back against so as to get rid of it. Our muscles tense-up, our breathing quickens, we get nervous or anxious initiating the fight or flight response.

4. External projection: in the victim mindset we tend to project onto an external cause for our suffering. It’s normally the other person or circumstance that makes us feel this way; “It’s not my fault.” There’s no ownership of feelings involved.

5. Breakdown in communication: because the victim mindset is always projecting onto others for the way it feels, it never communicates authentically. It communicates by way of mixed messaging which means that it struggles to have its needs met.

6. It goes in circles: because the victim mindset always pushes back, there can’t be any room for whole hearted participation or cooperation. It goes in circles trying to find a solution in the external environment to which it clings, leaving us more angry and frustrated than before. Meaning our behavior gets more pathological too.

As we bring our awareness to these traits, to either our words, our behavior, or other people’s words and behavior, the more likely we are to be able to transform resistance and dissolve the victim mindset. This allows room for growth, development, and more expansive and authentic ways of thinking and communicating. Give it a try!