Perhaps we've spent hours working on a project only for someone to come along and question its validity... Or, maybe we clash with a work colleague, friend, spouse or partner on a certain issue.
The point is, something happens which shifts our perception of the way things 'should be.' This mind altering shift generates an uncomfortable feeling inside of us as who we are, our message, and where we're coming from is called into question.
Dealing with such a situation is never easy. It's profoundly difficult to take on the other person's perspective when ours has just been questioned by the same person. This is why we end up resisting or pushing back against their point-of-view. We feel that we need to protect or preserve who we are through resistance.
The problem in dealing with a situation in this manner is that the 'incident' ends up causing us more pain and discomfort in the long run. Looking back on the time when our perspective was questioned, we begin to realize that the way we responded influenced our very own state of consciousness. No we weren't relaxed and no, we didn't respond in a calm, focused way.
And this is precisely the cause of either a lack of motive, means or maturity. Because we're unable to take on the other person's perspective, our attitude to and response (behavioral and communicative) to the situation only deepens our pain. We experience the situation through emotions like anger, stress or frustration. Words like, "You don't understand me," ring forth from our lips.
Only by very intentionally relaxing into the psychological contraction can we begin to understand where the other person is coming from (regardless of whether we agree with them or not). And only then can we respond with heightened focus, intention, skill and intelligence. Next time you're faced with a difficult situation, see if you can relax into the present moment. How does this influence your relationship to the person or situation?
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