The less perspective you hold, the less skillful, and less mature position you occupy. An example of a less mature and less skillful position could be a generalization or a globalized statement such as; “All women are bad drivers.”
Let’s return to this generalized statement, while we take a look at maturity. I define the word ‘maturity’ as the ability to take on perspective. Much of our modern day communication is built on immature responses and counter responses.
We are not even able to take on another person’s perspective and therefore find it very difficult to relate, to understand, to feel understood, to build connection and develop relationships. We communicate like 2 boxers in the ring - the one punches and expresses his/her opinion, and then the other punches and expresses his/her opinion, and so we go back and forth with little to no clarity, conciseness or depth of understanding.
A more mature position would be to really step into the other person’s perspective, instead of just hearing the words, really listen to them, get their position. For example: “I can see that perhaps I won’t change your position. I can understand your position and I don’t have to change my position, but I can take on your perspective.”
Returning to the “women are bad drivers” generalization. Say a man who held this limited opinion was driving along the road and came behind a car driving very slowly, very carefully, cautiously. The man shouts out: “Hurry up, get out my way, bloody fucking woman driver!” As he passes he turns his head to gesture his frustration and sees that the driver is in fact a man.
Does he use this situation to grow, to alter his limited paradigm/belief system that all women are bad drivers, or does he merely continue along the same limited path by exclaiming: “Dude drives like a bloody woman!”
New perspectives give us more space to work in. This gives us the freedom we desire. It also enables us to become better communicators, which directly influences our relationships at home or in the workplace.
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