Creating an Authentic Response

When communicating how do we create an authentic response, and what do we actually mean by this, and how would this serve us in our relationships?

Well, what is an authentic response? I believe that true authenticity in communication lies in knowing oneself. And what do I mean by this? I mean how aware are you of your own being? Learning to communicate authentically requires us to become aware of our body, our thoughts and our emotions.

Here are some relevant questions I would like to pose to you in relation to this: how connected are you to what’s real and authentic and do you know where that’s coming from? What are the causes of your thoughts and feelings? What keeps you from your authentic self in relation to others?

Say you meet someone and they pay you a compliment, but subconsciously you strip it of all its emotional richness, so the only way you connect with it is on an intellectual level. How much of this type of thinking influences your relationships? What barrier have you put up that prevents you from receiving the fullness of the compliment?

Your ability to communicate authentically with others is in direct relation to your capacity to have strong boundaries - you’re clear on what you want and what you don’t want. These boundaries are important because they enable you to connect with yourself at an emotional, body, and mind level. And until you can do this, you can’t connect with and communicate authentically with others.

The natural instinct would be to assume that clear boundaries inhibit communication and that to communicate authentically we would have to relax them. On the contrary, clear, healthy boundaries ground us in the totality of who we are, thereby making that connection with another person more fulfilling. There’s a difference between a mental barrier, which strips whole hearted connection and a healthy boundary which enhances it.

You can’t read into another without knowing yourself and you need contrast in order to know yourself. Close your eyes. What is there, nothing but blackness, no contrast whatsoever. It’s just black, no differentiation, you don’t know what’s yours and what isn’t yours. Similarly, if you want to learn how to communicate with your partner you need to know what’s yours and what’s not yours.

If we are to learn to communicate authentically we first need to be connected to our own energy - body, mind and spirit, and then learn to integrate all 3. Once you have created this connection you can more easily communicate with your partner, work at meeting each others needs, and grow your relationship.