We have been shaped by belief systems. When we're young we are essentially free, we play and move and create with freedom. This freedom is very innocent. As we grow up we get shaped by numerous belief systems - schools, parents, teachers, friends, siblings etc (this is neither right nor wrong, its merely been passed on from generation to generation).
This has a profound impact on the way we perceive things. The way that we perceive things forms, through a repeated pattern, a set of values or a belief system that defines who we are and what we do to be a part of that system.
However what you believe is not real, it is just a perspective, so you can change that perspective for any other belief system that better suits your needs. If you're not happy with your life it is because you have allowed your mind to become a victim of whatever belief system that operates your life. It's like a program, and that program can either hinder your development, or it can progress your development.
Much of what we believe is fear-based and this results in all the negative emotions that create suffering - anger, hatred, frustration, anxiety, sadness and depression. We are quick to blame it on some external reason, some other person made us feel this way, and we blame or judge that person for our suffering. There's nothing the victim mindset enjoys more - blame, judgement and false assumption.
So I believe transformation lies in changing fear-based beliefs that cause suffering. Once we've dissolved these old, limiting beliefs, we can fill the space with new, more relevant beliefs that contribute to our development.
The transformation of which I speak always begins with awareness. We first have to develop an awareness of limiting beliefs. We have to become aware of the parasite which is the victim or the judge, so we can begin to focus our attention on what we want to change.
In order to break the spell of fear, judgement and blame, we have to start with small concerns on a daily basis. Then we can move towards the bigger ocean of self-deprecating beliefs. Dissolving limiting beliefs is very difficult as they've been formed by years and years of conditioning and domestication. We have become addicted to beliefs of being unworthy or not good enough.
We have to observe such beliefs closely if we are to have any chance of overcoming them. Like a guard standing watch at a gate, we have to learn to keep watch at the gate of our minds to ensure we don't allow limiting beliefs to enter.
While breaking down old beliefs, we concurrently have to work at building up new, more self-empowering beliefs. For example, the victim tries to repress emotions because it is afraid of expressing true feelings. The more empowering mindset takes ownership of its feelings and expresses them in a clear way so it can have its needs met, or not.
Here are some ways to dissolve the victim mindset.
- Forgive yourself and others
- Become aware of limiting beliefs that feed the victim/judge
- Do not allow other people to shape who you want to be
- Live with openness and gratitude
- Live in the present moment
- Do not fear acceptance or rejection
We are all free to live the way we wish to live, to ask for what we need, to be open to saying "yes please," or "no thank you." But instead we allow old fear-based beliefs to stand in the way of our development. True transformation lies in dissolving these beliefs for more abundant ways of being. Then we step on to the path to freedom - not so much through innocence, but more through wisdom.
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