How to Communicate so People Understand You

Authentic communication is about building trust. And you need a connection to build trust. When trust is broken, we either find fault or blame someone else. Miscommunication creates misunderstanding, severing any meaningful connection.

To rebuild connection requires first that you calm the buzzing mind. When you're overwhelmed with waves and waves of thought, it's very difficult to pick up on where the other person is coming from - you're consumed with your own point of view.

Rather allow your thoughts to run their course and reconnect with a calm, clear, present state of mind. This establishes common ground on which to rebuild a relationship. When you slow down and connect with the present moment, free from mechanistic bombardment, you'll be more receptive to life force energies around you.

Be open to any images, thoughts, feelings, words, perceptions, emotions or energies to gain deeper understanding of other perspectives.

Just as the radio is designed to pick up different frequencies, so the manner in which you interpret another message may be varied. The key is to remain open to the feedback loop; as soon as you close yourself off by projecting qualities of right/wrong, good/bad, deserved/undeserved, you stave off any meaningful connection.

Clear communication may consist of asking the person if what you picked up on is indeed what they are thinking or feeling. This clears the space for the other person to respond authentically while developing empathy for their feelings. It's important to talk about how you feel and what you need in order to establish a basis for cooperation and understanding.

To connect with how you feel, bring your awareness down to your heart centre. Only through prolonged yoga and meditation have I managed to reconnect more with feeling states. Males may struggle to express their feelings as we've been conditioned by media, upbringing, education, that it's a sign of weakness to express feelings. We either bury them or project them instead.

Become aware of your state of consciousness - contracted, relaxed or expansive. Identify how certain states affect your overall well being and how you communicate or relate these to other people.When you're contracted or fearful, your communication and thoughts are shaped by negativity. Invariably, it's difficult to have your needs met when you're projecting negativity.

But when you're open and expansive, it's easier to connect with what you want. You can communicate your needs by making clear requests to grow your relationships. It's important to do the same when you're playing the role of receiver; remain open and responsive by listening whole-heartedly to what the other person is saying.

Think of authentic communication like a dance. When you're grooving with a partner your movements are in sync. Your attention needs to be in the present moment to stay in flow and to make the dance rhythmical. Authentic communication works much the same way; remain open to your own thoughts and feelings, and try to listen and understand where the other person is coming from.

How to be a Player in The Connection Economy

The mechanistic (top-down) paradigm of the industrial growth economy served a purpose - economic growth at all costs. We're now starting to see the limitations of this system or way of looking at the world.

As populations grow, we have to work harder to extract more resources to fuel this model of economic growth. But we live on a finite planet - presently we are operating at 2 and a half times the earth's capacity to sustain us. The military industrial complex, this mechanistic world-view has run out of purpose. It merely serves continued disconnection and separation.

It says, I'm willing to cut down huge portions of the Amazon rain forest, killing hundreds of thousands of indigenous species in the process, so long as I can make a profit. Or, I'm willing to drop bombs on innocent people's head's from drones controlled remotely, so long as I can make a profit.

The connection economy understands that we are all connected and form an integral part of the larger way systems operate. Creative, inspiring, dynamic, inter-connected systems (like the ones found in nature) thrive holistically.

To play in the connection economy requires understanding the inter-connected way systems and people operate. Strike up strong relationships with people who have similar interests, talents, values or vision to yours. Come together on a common platform and work for the good of all involved.

Learn through action. We have no real idea of what the connection economy could look like because it hasn't been developed before and there aren't any predefined paths to take us there. We have to learn from trial and error. If you want to be a leader in the connection economy, you'll need to be highly responsive and resilient to increasingly complex and change-oriented environments.

Personal growth is integral to the connection economy. You have to constantly use a growth mindset; I messed up here, what can I do to improve next time? There's no parrot-fashion, text-book learning. Essentially you'll apply your knowledge, skills, talents - then go back to the drawing board to refine the process until you've mastered a project.

Focus in the connection economy should be on personal growth as well as highly valued and connected relationships.

Understand your current context to create your vision. Our human context is one of rapidly changing environments, systems and memes that require unique adaptability and resilience. How you go about applying such concepts to your own context is key. Only by grappling with this idea, talking about it, turning it inside-out and outside-in, can we understand our place in the connection economy.

This begs the question: how do you best encompass your unique vision, values and talents moving forward? Such concepts are critical to gaining a deeper understanding of how to apply yourself in the journey of self-discovery. The connection economy is based on a deeper understanding of self and other, as well as understanding how to relate to the greater whole.

Are you ready to be a player in the connection economy? What's your next action step? Do you need to go back to the drawing board to redefine your context first? Or, do you need some time for self-reflection to understand yourself and others better? The choice is yours. The connection economy is not shaped by limitation, scarcity or separation. The possibilities are endless. Your move.

You Are What you Eat

The old maxim, you are what you eat, could never be truer. When it comes to food, we live in the best of times, and we live in the worst of times.

Here's an important question to ask yourself when it comes to your food; "How old is your food?"

Most food that comes from industrial agriculture has had to travel 1500 to 2000 miles to get to your plate. In this case it's at-least a week old. How much nutritional value can you be getting from this type of food? Maybe 40% of what you need if you're lucky.

Food produced by industrial agriculture is treated with herbicides, pesticides, and fungicides. On top of this, most of the food has been genetically modified. All these chemicals create massive soil desertification and destroy whole environmental ecosystems.

Just take a look at fertilizer. Fertilizer is made up of 3 minerals - NPK. These include,

• nitrogen
• phosphorus
• potassium

But healthy soil needs 52 different minerals to thrive, so what about the remaining 49 minerals? When soil is deficient, plants are deficient too. They've weakened to the point that they become susceptible to attacks from super bugs. 

This means chemical companies like Monsanto are happy because they reap the benefits ($) of this ever downward spiraling cycle of mineral depletion. The more bugs, the more chemicals that need to be sprayed, the more toxic our food becomes. But industrial agriculture is big business!

What's more is that by the time you get this mass produced, mono-crop food, you then cook it. This kills off the remaining nutrients in the food. When you cook food your immune system reacts to it as a toxin. The cooking process bastardizes the food in such a way that the body doesn't recognize it. It therefore has to work overtime to try and break it down.

So you have to make sure that at least 51% of your diet is raw so that you don't overburden an already exhausted immune/adrenal system. 

The best form of preventative medicine is nutrition. If you're eating whole, natural, organic or wild fruit, veggies and superfoods then you've got the essential ingredients to fight off any disease. This is a more effective way to deal with health rather than using pharmaceutical drugs to try isolate your problem. 106,000 Americans die every year due to the side effects of pharmaceutical drugs.

You are what you eat. "When in doubt, use nutrition first," Dr Roger Williams.

How to Use Intention to Get What You Want

There are practical ways to develop intention. A lot of them focus on heightening one’s intuition.  But firstly, one should learn to still the chattering mind. You can do this by…

• Observing the inflow and outflow of your breath with one-pointed awareness. This will sharpen your mind.
• Observing the sensations in your body with equanimity.
• Observing your thoughts. Imagine you’re lying on your back on the grass outside and each thought is a cloud in the sky. Your thoughts, just like the clouds, will come and go.

Such practices will help you bring your awareness to the present moment. You can practice these techniques during 20 minutes of meditation every day. It’s important to remember to practice from a non-judgmental perspective.

Likewise, it’s important to transfer this mindfulness into your daily life. So whether you’re at home observing your dogs, your children or your partner, or at work, observing your colleagues – stay present to what’s arising in the moment.

Once you've created some space around your thoughts and feelings, you’ll be ready to create your intention. However, it’s useful to create a connection with the object of your intention first. If it’s someone with whom you have a bond, send them your intention. Or communicate your intention to the person you wish to send it to, so they can be open to receiving it. If it’s an animal or plant you wish to send an intention to, keep it in your mind’s eye.

The next step is to enhance the connection by building compassion. Bring your awareness down to your heart centre to increase the flow of compassion between all living beings. Radiate this light all around your body and then send it out to whomever you wish to send it to. This creates incredible powers of healing.

To further enhance compassion, take on other perspectives. This could be a family member, a colleague, a loved one or a beggar. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine what their hopes, fears and dreams could be like. Be present and vulnerable to this compassion. Feel it fully, meditate upon it.

Next, it’s important to state your intention as a positive outcome in the present moment. Describe or feel your intention to have a clear picture or sense of what you’d like to create. Visualize your intention with all 5 senses.

Practice visualization with words, metaphors, pictures or feelings to see what works best for you. As an athlete visualizes his/her performance before an event, so you must visualize your intended outcomes.

You can do this to change just about anything – a negative emotion, a limiting belief or attitude, or to overcome a barrier that stands in the way of your potential. Practice, practice, practice! Building intention is like building any muscle – the more you work it, the stronger, more powerful, articulate and clear it will become.

One last tip: outline your intention, communicate it clearly, and then let it go! Don’t crave, cling to, or try to avert any particular outcome. This will block the flow of energy in your intention. Rather learn to stay present to whatever arises in the moment once you've put your intention out into the universe.

What's your 'Cantillation?'

A cantillation, in its traditional form, serves as a guide for choirs chanting sacred texts. In the same way a conductor conducts an orchestra, a cantillation drives harmonic singing or chanting. However, a ‘cantillation’ can also be described as your special gift or talent that gives your life joy and purpose as well as union with the absolute.

Why’s this important? Well, if you would like to live a more meaningful life it’s important to know what your gift is. This can, for example, help you transition from career to calling with greater ease and accuracy.

Another reason why it’s important is that it serves as a rudder during times of choppy seas. Stress is the number one cause in us losing our way and becoming ‘unbalanced.’ Knowing your ‘cantillation’ acts like a homing pigeon so you can realign with your north star – what’s important to you; your vision quest.

You can get back on track to doing what you do best – giving of your gifts and talents.

Knowing your ‘cantillation’ is essential to staying in flow. It gives you something to grip on to when the degree of challenge you’re engaged in notches up a level or two. This isn’t of course the only part of overcoming tough challenges. Things like mastering states of consciousness such as your feelings and thoughts need to be considered too.

And understanding context and connecting with vision and values are also important aspects when trying to stay in flow.

But knowing our ‘cantillation’ and applying it ruthlessly in the face of surmounting challenges helps us learn and grow. Why else are we here; other than to give of our gifts?

New Economy (Cooperation) vs Old Economy (Competition)

The industrial growth economy was built on competition - more for me means less for you. I'll fight and trample you on my way to the top of this hierarchical system, and I'll do it by any means necessary. There's no place for second best here.

The problem with this type of economy is that it's fear-based. It's built on the maxim that if I'm right, you must be wrong. Or if I'm good then you must be bad. And if I'm successful then I deserve it and if you're unsuccessful then you deserve that too!

In this type of economy we're always coming from within the perception of limit and scarcity. And this has led us down the path of self-destruction - personally, relationally and environmentally. The inherent inequality in such a system raises questions about the growth economy. Which leads us to....

The connection economy. The connection economy is built on trust, interest, curiosity and excitement - I want to participate because I'm passionate and this aligns neatly with my talents.

If the connection economy is built on cooperation, how do you go about building trust? You build trust the same way you build any relationship; through communication. And a good starting point is to create empathy and understanding.

How do you build understanding? You can build understanding by listening - listening to your customers, your parents, your children, your friends. Authentic communication is communication that's centered on a balance of heart and mind, feelings and thoughts, meeting each others needs, making clear requests and taking on other perspectives.

Of course it's useful to have some assimilation of either vision or values to create the initial connection. But from then on, the connection economy is all about working together for each other as well as something greater than self or other. The connection economy requires the ability to hold multiple perspectives.

And more complexity requires a higher level of psychological maturity. If you want to participate in the connection economy you need to unlock greater psychological flexibility.

How Intention can Lower your Error Rate

Greater intention leads to fewer errors in the creative process. The evolutionary process has been driven by creativity which is based on trial and error.

If you find yourself in the creative space and you want to reduce your error rate (and let's face it, who doesn't want less errors) you'll need to work on building intention. You can do this through training. And the training would require you to develop heightened powers of attention, belief, motivation and compassion.

Attention: where you place your attention, energy flows. This is critical to developing greater intention. Your can train your attention by bringing your focus to the present moment and by observing your thoughts and feelings. This will give you greater insight into what drives your behavior. Accordingly, it becomes easier to mitigate errors from the creative process because you immediately notice and override any thoughts that aren't aligned with your vision.

Belief: uncovering your beliefs is a key aspect of mindset training. How do your beliefs shape your motives for action? And are they aligned with the direction you need to move in? If for example, you have a limiting belief that prevents you from achieving your goals, you would need to deconstruct its narrative by either questioning or contradicting the base upon which that narrative was built. Then you can go about replacing that old narrative with a new, more connected and relevant belief.

Motivation: closely aligned with belief is motivation. If you're connected with your purpose then entering a 'flow' state can become relatively easy - depending on if you've got the skills to match the challenge. But as soon as you notice any form of resistance or negative, fear-based thinking or feelings, this will automatically influence your ability to stay in flow. Unless of course you've very intentionally learnt to relaxed into the resistance to reconnect with your purpose. A good way to establish motive is to become familiar with the thoughts and feelings that drive your behavior. These will determine if your motive is reluctant or whole-hearted.

Compassion: Compassion, I think, is linked to perception and perspective. If you have the ability to take on multiple perspectives, without the need to judge or blame, you're on the path to building compassion. The goal should be to integrate different perspectives, while still being aligned with your vision. Building compassion and empathy for other sentient beings builds authentic communication skills and more connected relationships.

All 4 of these aspects - attention, belief, motivation and compassion - can be used to enhance intention. And enhanced intention means fewer errors in the creative process. Which means you can work faster and more accurately towards your goals!