How to Communicate so People Understand You

Authentic communication is about building trust. And you need a connection to build trust. When trust is broken, we either find fault or blame someone else. Miscommunication creates misunderstanding, severing any meaningful connection.

To rebuild connection requires first that you calm the buzzing mind. When you're overwhelmed with waves and waves of thought, it's very difficult to pick up on where the other person is coming from - you're consumed with your own point of view.

Rather allow your thoughts to run their course and reconnect with a calm, clear, present state of mind. This establishes common ground on which to rebuild a relationship. When you slow down and connect with the present moment, free from mechanistic bombardment, you'll be more receptive to life force energies around you.

Be open to any images, thoughts, feelings, words, perceptions, emotions or energies to gain deeper understanding of other perspectives.

Just as the radio is designed to pick up different frequencies, so the manner in which you interpret another message may be varied. The key is to remain open to the feedback loop; as soon as you close yourself off by projecting qualities of right/wrong, good/bad, deserved/undeserved, you stave off any meaningful connection.

Clear communication may consist of asking the person if what you picked up on is indeed what they are thinking or feeling. This clears the space for the other person to respond authentically while developing empathy for their feelings. It's important to talk about how you feel and what you need in order to establish a basis for cooperation and understanding.

To connect with how you feel, bring your awareness down to your heart centre. Only through prolonged yoga and meditation have I managed to reconnect more with feeling states. Males may struggle to express their feelings as we've been conditioned by media, upbringing, education, that it's a sign of weakness to express feelings. We either bury them or project them instead.

Become aware of your state of consciousness - contracted, relaxed or expansive. Identify how certain states affect your overall well being and how you communicate or relate these to other people.When you're contracted or fearful, your communication and thoughts are shaped by negativity. Invariably, it's difficult to have your needs met when you're projecting negativity.

But when you're open and expansive, it's easier to connect with what you want. You can communicate your needs by making clear requests to grow your relationships. It's important to do the same when you're playing the role of receiver; remain open and responsive by listening whole-heartedly to what the other person is saying.

Think of authentic communication like a dance. When you're grooving with a partner your movements are in sync. Your attention needs to be in the present moment to stay in flow and to make the dance rhythmical. Authentic communication works much the same way; remain open to your own thoughts and feelings, and try to listen and understand where the other person is coming from.