A Coherent Model of Personal Development

In this article I develop a framework for a personal development journey. It's my intention to show you how to move from an unconsciousness, un-examined framework to a model of personal development that can help you in all aspects of your life.

So let's dive in straight away. What are some of the key components to a personal development model for life and business? I've outlined 3 major ones:

1. Relevance: Here are some fundamental questions to ask yourself when digging into the idea of what makes your life relevant: what am I good at? What do I really enjoy doing? What's my burning platform? What excites me and gets me out of bed in the mornings? It's one thing to discover what really interests you, it's another thing to develop talents that relate meaningfully to the concept you're interested in. If it doesn't relate then the talent is not an applied talent, but it's just you or me as a person. We live in an evolving context, a context that is getting more and more complex by the day. So we're constantly striving to get better, faster and more outstanding at the things we do. So to cap off relevance, here's another question to ask yourself: How can I take my talents and best apply them to my context? This could for example, be in the form of a product or service related to your passion.
2. Mindset: Becoming aware of how you behave in various situations, moment to moment, is critical to mastering mindset. Your behavior is a direct indicator of your mindset. However in order to really master mindset, there are other subtleties at play that need to be integrated into our consciousness. Things like personality, pathology and emotions all have an important role to play in personal development. Other key components of mindset include questioning how your beliefs, ideologies and assumptions shape your outer realities. For example, if you're angry and not aware of the feeling, your emotion can easily shape your thinking, actions and communication. But when you're aware of the feeling and integrate it into your consciousness, you can transcend it, giving you more clarity, focus and influence over your outcomes. So mindset works at the heart of dissolving fundamental assumptions that are limiting you in any way, shape or form. Instead of reinforcing limited narratives, logic, or lines of thinking that reprove again and again the assumption of limit, you can connect more whole heartedly with your vision.
3. Vision & Purpose: Although this is the last piece of the puzzle, it's actually a good starting point to connect with, or feel into what you would like to create with your life. By writing up a really powerful vision for your life, this allows you to relax any psychological tension and intuitively move into the realms of possibility. Once you've written up a compelling vision, ask yourself: how is this vision supported? Lightly holding my vision in the one hand, I begin to craft, shape and mold my unique talents with a very relaxed focus. As a coach I'm big on questions so here's another one: Am I connected to my vision as I integrate goals, strategies, products and people? Your vision and purpose (both are inter-linked) are about developing a coherent philosophy by which to live your life. Vision is important because it helps us make an association by connecting the dots between a large number of unassociated fragments. I agree with Terence McKenna when he noted; "The path of complexity to its goals is through connecting things together." When things are scattered, everything becomes very complex, very quickly. There's little focus. In this model of personal development we therefore seek to align our mindset by dissolving any dis-functionality in the alignment process by connecting intuitively with our vision.

I would say these are the 3 core pillars of a personal development model, which I believe if worked on simultaneously and integrated into all aspects of your life, can assist you in creating the kind of life you desire. If you would like to discuss these concepts further, or if you have any questions or queries, please leave a comment below or get in touch with me via my website www.simoninglis.com 

Building Habits

This week I'm working on building relevant, keystone habits into my life. This means changing any routines that do not serve me. I've identified some checkpoints to establish in my day that will help me to do this.

As soon as I notice a bad habit, when I'm not fully in the present moment aligned with what I want to achieve, I'll write that down in my journal. Doing this will give me the perspective I need to build a different routine for a new habit. 

Let's say for example that I want to quit smoking. I will have to build a different routine into my life for every time I have a cigarette. So every time my thinking and actions align with lighting up, I have to notice what's driving my behavior and change the routine accordingly. 

I might write down what I'm feeling and thinking when I want to smoke (reflection) and then build a different routine, whose reward is not a nicotine fix, but something else like the release of endorphins after exercise. 

So instead of lighting that cigarette, I'll take a walk around the block, eat something healthy, drink a cup of coffee or tea, write something in my journal, go to the gym, or speak to someone about how I feel. 

By changing the routine, I'm essentially looking to re-wire my automatic thought response which I've built into my behavior every time I want a cigarette. I can then begin to build new, more healthy or growth-mentality habits into my life. So here's a 3 step process for changing habits that no longer serve you. 

1) Notice your thoughts and feelings around the particular habit you're looking to change. Where do these come from, how long have they been with you and how often do they play themselves out? How do you respond to them?

2) Change your routine. I remember when I used to smoke cigarettes, I used to always light one up after a swim, after a meal, or after having done some work, as a reward. I had built these automatic responses into who I was until they became a habit. If you want to change a habit, change your routine. 

3) Reflect on the process. Whether its journaling, speaking to a friend, consulting a coach, or even reflecting mentally, in order to change your habits, you need to see where it is you're succumbing to old patterns of thought and action that limit you. The more objectivity you can bring to whatever habit you're looking to change, the better. 

Finally, there are 2 more key ingredients you'll need to change ingrained habits that have limited you in any way in the past. The first is belief in yourself. If you don't have the undying belief that things will change or get better, you'll more than likely stumble at a hurdle bringing you back to square one. And secondly, you need self-determination. This comes from connecting with your vision about your life and what it is your wanting to change. With these 2 elements you're likely to succeed at building new habits. 

Did you find this article useful? I would love to know your thoughts in the comments below. 

Managing Stress

Stress is the number cause of illness in current day society, causing things like cancer, heart disease, depression, stomach ulcers, flu, and post-traumatic stress disorder. As things get more and more complex, stress plays an ever greater role in our lives. In this blog post I will look at what stress is, why it arises, and how to deal with it.

What is stress? 

Stress is a coping mechanism in our bodies that helps us move through challenges where there's an increase in pressure. At a cellular level there's a chemical reaction that occurs in our body/mind. Psychologically we may "contract" and this causes a release of the hormones cortisol and adrenalin as a coping mechanism. Our heart rate increases, our breathing quickens and our metabolism quickens too.

These bodily functions are natural ways for us to deal with various stressors in that they help us to focus and be alert to the challenge at hand. If stress is handled in the wrong way however, mainly through resistance to stressors, then it can contribute to all sorts of negative emotions. 

What are some of the negative symptoms of stress? 

• Irritability and being moody
• Increased anxiety
• Lack of clarity/focus
• You feel flat, tired and exhausted
• You have difficulty sleeping
• You have headaches and migraines 

How do we cope with stress? 

• First learn to psychologically relax; when we psychologically tense-up, our attention is not still, meaning our focus is scattered. When we relax psychologically, our attention is clear and calm and we can then focus on the task at hand. 
• Bring your awareness to the feeling in the present moment. Often getting out of your mental constructs and connecting with what you're feeling provides you with the kind of objectivity to better handle stress
• Take a walk in nature
• Take a break and notice what's going on around you - people, things, places
• Practice yoga or meditation
• Exercise - run, get to the gym, cycle, play your favorite sport, get physical. This has the ability to release endorphins which is a great way to handle stress
• Become aware of your breathing: when you're stressed your breathing will tend to be shallow and in your chest which restricts oxygen circulation to your organs. Try to breathe deeply into the pit of your stomach instead so you stomach rises with each intake of air. Then focus on releasing the tension on the out-breath. 
• Regulate and slow your breathing down to a rhythm (yogic breathing). You can do this by pausing after your out-breath and counting to 4 before your next in-breath. Do the same on the in cycle. 

If one of these strategies doesn't work, try an alternate one. And if you're still stressed seek the advice of a life coach or counselor. Did you find this article useful? Please leave a comment below. 

Moving From Victim to Non-Victim

Everything associated with being a victim is underpinned by a sense of limit. Lines of logic, in terms of thinking and behaving, feed through this artificial sense of limit.

There's nothing more the victim mindset enjoys than being trapped inside its own suffering. After all, this is what keeps being a victim alive and kicking. Therefore its drive is built on the need to escape suffering, which paradoxically perpetuates suffering even more. And thus the circle of playing out the victim mindset goes, until eventually it starts to become self-destructive.

So how do we recognize the victim mindset for what it is? One way is through our behavior - the behavior that is generated from victim thoughts is very reactive and judgmental. The victim mindset categorically does not like taking responsibility for its behavior and therefore perpetuates feelings of being misunderstood, stuck or trapped inside its own suffering.

The victim mindset is caught up in negative states like fear, anger, frustration, anxiety, depression and over-thinking. Because the victim mindset is driven by the need to escape these negative states, it uses justification as a means to satisfy its needs. It might go something like this; "If I can just get that person to understand me, then everything will be okay." Or, "if I just get that promotion then I can relax."

But more often than not, if its the negative state or the need to get rid of the negative state that's driving the behavior, then the feeling never goes away once the thing that was sought, is got. The victim mindset then moves on to place its attention on the next thing to get to get rid of the notion that there's 'something wrong.'

So how do we move away from this mindset. The first step involves self-awareness. We cannot change what we're not aware of. By bringing our awareness, first to our behavior (mainly through the feeling which is contracted), we are able to observe ourselves playing out the role of the victim. We can then take ownership of our thoughts and feelings, not by resisting them, but by feeling/observing them fully.

Once we transform the inherent perception of limit that drives our behavior, we can bring more intelligence and creativity to any particular situation, even ones where we see others using the victim mindset. A good indication in this regard is to remain open to the feedback loop. For example, if you're resisting a negative state like anger or fear, you will be left with a lingering bitter aftertaste. If you've allowed yourself to feel your fear or anger, you'll feel much better and lighter afterwards.

Thus, when the negative state is not driving our behavior we can participate and cooperate more fully and wholeheartedly. It also becomes easier to connect with our sense of vision and purpose. This not only benefits our own sense of well-being, but enhances our interpersonal relationships too.

We can spend more time in the flow of things, using our natural abilities and skills to overcome challenges and grow in the process. We feel excited about what we can create as well as be more at peace with ourselves and our environments.

9 Ways Apprenticeships can Shape Future Work Environments

The traditional way of moving forward after school is to get accepted to college and to work towards some form of qualification that sets you up for a future in the job market.

But is this model of going about developing a career still relevant? Perhaps it is in some instances if the motive is to climb the ladder in corporate environments. But with unemployment soaring to all time highs largely due to the economic recession, jobs in the corporate world are few and far between. And corporations are likely to look at students with the highest grades to fill vacancies.

How do we deal with rising unemployment then? One way is to become more entrepreneurial. What does this mean, and how does this change the way we learn? I would argue that apprenticeships can play a significant role in this regard. Why?

1. Apprenticeships give us the opportunity to learn valuable skills first-hand in the marketplace.
2. Apprenticeships involve learning by doing as opposed to sitting in college for 3 years learning a bunch of theory. I'm not suggesting that technical knowledge is not valuable, I am suggesting however that it can be done on the job.
3. As apprenticeships involve learning by doing, you can track your progress which makes that progress more rapid because you're constantly learning from your mistakes, integrating what works and discarding what doesn't.
4. Apprenticeships require that you apply what you learn through observation and practice. Practice makes perfect applies well to the field of apprenticeship because as you observe a new skill, you can immediately go into the marketplace to put into practice. This results in faster learning and application of knowledge.
5. Apprenticeships require that you use a growth mindset. That means if you fail or get something wrong, that you learn how you failed or where you went wrong so that you can do better next time. A fixed mindset on the other hand sees failure as something that's set in stone making it harder for you to get back on track.
6. Apprenticeships often require learning and overcoming challenges through what I call the 3 C's - co-creation, collaboration and cooperation. Employing the 3 C's is the best way to make the most of unique talents and expertise to arrive at your goal. 
7. Apprenticeships involve an ongoing process of mentoring and coaching. These 2 formats are valuable hands-on ways to impart knowledge and encourage growth as well as gaining clarity and understanding of what's needed to succeed. As we master various levels of the apprenticeship, we take heart and develop accordingly. We can also pass this valuable trait onto other apprentices when it comes our turn to mentor or coach.
8. The way apprenticeships are structured is unlike the rigid formations found in corporations. There's no right or wrong way. Learning is more fluid and flexible as you take what you've just learned and apply it or mold it to different situations. Akin to the creative process, this can be messy and involves a lot of trial and error type learning. 
9. Once we've got a handle on what we're looking to learn or master, we can then step off the precipice with the knowledge and skills and confidence to set-up our own business. Even then though, you're not entirely on your own as the apprenticeship should require that there's the possibility to be coached through the process to ensure long-term success.

In conclusion, I think we need more apprenticeships for future work environments. Not only will people gain valuable skills and work experience, but they could then go on to become entrepreneurs themselves, ensuring future success.

Models and Assumptions

Assumptions form an integral part of mindset which shapes behavior. Our assumptions and world views are built on and defined by various models.

When we had the assumption that the world was flat, trade and exploration was defined by this model. Explorers and traders therefore never ventured far from the shoreline for fear that they would drop off the face of the earth. 

At the time, our assumption of the earth being flat defined our thoughts and our behavior. Our behavior was limited by this particular model. But once our assumption was proved false, the model was no longer relevant and the rules of the game changed. 

By adopting a new model (the earth is round) our worldview and premise shifted remarkably. New ways of seeing things and doing things opened up before our eyes and humans thrived from an evolutionary perspective by building assumptions on this new model. 

Thus, most of our assumptions are built on some form of model. And because models are always simplifications, they are never perfectly valid, there are certain limitations to all models. 

Some models are however, more useful than others. It's up to us to ascertain which ones serve us or not. If we step back and examine our current models from which stem systems and structures, can we truly say that these models are useful?

Our financial systems are models built on and driven by debt. Our economies have been running on the premise of endless growth. Yet we live on a finite planet and as non-renewable resources (oil & coal) become increasingly scarce, our model of economic growth becomes questionable. 

Crisis moments, such as the world financial crisis of 2008, bizarre weather patterns (tsunamis, super storms) or oil spillages such as in the Gulf of Mexico, allow us the opportunity to question our models and our assumptions which develop lines of logic that influences our thinking, behavior and outcomes. 

The questioning process breaks apart our assumptions and models to see if they fit well with our vision for the future. Do we currently have models in place, built upon certain sets of assumptions, that serve our well being, development and our environment? Or are these models no longer useful? Is it time to build more relevant models based on a new set of assumptions?