5 Ways to Develop More Confidence

When it comes to confidence I'm not talking about the type that's gained from climbing the ladder of a hierarchical institution. Traditional confidence has been gained by reaching the top of the pile by obtaining the right to power through the structures of a system (almost all corporations exhibit this power structure).

I'm referring to a different type of confidence. A confidence that's more fluid, yet infinitely more complex. It's a type of confidence that uses expansive thinking, connects dots and cooperates with others for a higher purpose. How do you develop this type of confidence?

• Know who you are and what you want (Identity). Knowing who you are requires developing greater self-awareness. This can be gained through objectivity, meditation, reflection and contemplation. Being able to access heightened powers of self-awareness means you're tapping into higher stages of psychological maturity (integral or holistic being the goal). Once you have some clarity around who you are, draw up a vision (I love using a big white board for this). Having a vision gives you a platform off which to build, create, take action and have fun with who you wish to become. And this builds confidence!
• Use a growth mindset. Once you engage with the creative process you're bound to encounter set-backs along the way. Using a growth mindset means you're open to learning from your mistakes in order to rework your plan for future success. Knowing where you went wrong and how to correct yourself (perspective training or coaching) can do wonders for your self-esteem. You can look back and track the progress you've made. Carol Dwek writes about how success is built upon the use of a growth mindset, while a fixed mindset keeps us stuck in perpetual failure.
• Learn to relax into the present moment. Fear often keeps us stuck, preventing us from taking action aligned with our goals. Rather than resisting fear, feel into it. Observe your fear and become familiar with it. By learning to relax into the present moment, you can let go of any fear or doubt. This enables you to reconnect with what's important to you (your purpose - see below). This refreshes and renews your sense of self-belief.
• Have a higher purpose. I find having a greater purpose to connect to means I can take action regardless of any negative emotions. This aligns with what Steven Pressfield calls "resistance" training. Working towards a higher purpose gives you more focus to overcome the resistance to do the work. If you've got something to channel your focus, like purpose, you'll find your confidence will increase exponentially the closer you get to your goal.
• Work on staying in flow. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi writes about how an "optimal experience" that makes work truly satisfying is a state called flow. Such a state is achieved when your skills just match the challenge you're faced with. As soon as the challenge outweighs your skills-set, you become overwhelmed. And if the challenge is too easy for your skills-set, you're faced with boredom. However, if the two align, you can grow as a person, which means your confidence begins to soar through the roof. 

What are some of the strategies and tactics you use to develop more confidence? Let me know in the comments box below.

Why Follow your Passion can be Bad Advice

Cal Newport, in his book, Be So Good They Can't Ignore You, talks about why following your passion can turn out to be bad advice.

The premise of his argument rests on the fact that we all have multiple interests and that following your passions can lead you to become a victim of the "passion trap."

The passion trap stems from the idea that our interests evolve over time. At school I had an interest in cricket, at University I had an interest in Hemingway, after school I became interested in travel and nature. Getting caught up in a roller-coaster of passions means we don't ever involve ourselves in deep work.

Deep work is something that's required in order to develop a rare and valuable skill - something Newport argues is essential for success. It's been argued that it takes 10 000 hours (roughly 10 years) to become a master in your chosen field.

I believe the path to mastery is quicker now. With the right combination of mindset traning (beliefs, attitude, assumptions, thoughts, feelings), skills and talents to match an evolving context, I believe we can shorten the time it takes to master something to 7000 hours (or 7 years).

A similar theme cropped up in one of Penelope Trunk's most popular blogs of 2013 - where she talks about how the pursuit of happiness makes a life shallow and devoid of meaning. Here she is quoting Roy Baumeister where he compares the difference between a happy life and a meaningful life; "Happiness without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even selfish life, in which things go well, needs and desires are easily satisfied, and difficult or taxing entanglements are avoided."

It seems that both authors argue against following your passion in the pursuit of happiness. There's more depth to life. Is the message that underlies this one of rather developing a sense of meaning and purpose which drives your life forward with vigor and vitality? Perhaps honing and giving of your gifts is intrinsically linked to wellbeing and joy.

Look around, how can you align your skills, talents and interests to make a difference? Where these qualities align, I believe you'll find greater meaning and purpose - which will make you happier at the end of the day. In 2014 how will you contribute to something greater than yourself while utilizing your gifts to make your life more beautiful?